The most reliable way to find a qualified sex therapist is through the AASECT Referral Directory, which lists only therapists who have earned the Certified Sex Therapist (CST) credential. You can search by state or country and filter for therapists specifically. Beyond that directory, several other tools and strategies can help you find someone who fits your needs, budget, and comfort level.
What Makes a Certified Sex Therapist Different
Any licensed therapist can technically discuss sexual concerns in session. But a Certified Sex Therapist has completed extensive specialized training on top of their clinical degree. AASECT, the main credentialing body in the U.S., requires at least 90 hours of coursework in human sexuality education, 60 hours of sex therapy skills training, and 14 hours of structured exploration of their own attitudes and values around sexuality. They must also complete 300 hours of clinical treatment of clients with sexual concerns while under supervision, with at least 50 hours of that supervision coming from an AASECT-certified supervisor over a minimum of 18 months.
On top of all that, applicants need a master’s degree plus two years of post-degree clinical experience, or a doctoral degree plus one year. This means a certified sex therapist has spent years learning how to work with sexual concerns specifically, not just therapy in general. The CST credential is voluntary, so not every competent sex therapist holds it, but it’s the clearest signal that someone has verified, specialized training.
Where to Search
Start with the AASECT Referral Directory at aasect.org. It lets you search by U.S. state or country and filter by whether you want a therapist, counselor, or educator. Every listing represents someone who has met AASECT’s certification standards.
Psychology Today’s therapist directory is another useful tool. It covers a much larger pool of therapists and lets you filter by specialty, insurance accepted, and location. Look for therapists who list sex therapy or sexual dysfunction as a specialty, and check whether they hold AASECT certification or similar credentials.
If your concerns involve kink, BDSM, polyamory, or other non-traditional relationship structures, the Kink Aware Professionals (KAP) Directory maintained by the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom lists therapists, medical providers, and legal professionals who have volunteered to be identified as knowledgeable about and sensitive to diverse expressions of sexuality. Many of these providers also offer sessions by phone or video.
For LGBTQ+ specific sexual health concerns, filtering for LGBTQ-affirming therapists on any of these directories is a good starting point. You can also ask local LGBTQ+ community centers for referrals, as they often maintain lists of vetted providers.
When You Need a Therapist vs. a Doctor
Sexual concerns are almost never purely physical or purely psychological. They tend to involve biology, emotions, relationships, and past experiences all at once. A sex therapist works on the psychological and relational side: shame, trauma, communication between partners, anxiety around sex, desire mismatches, and the mental patterns that interfere with arousal or pleasure.
If your concern might have a physical component, such as pain during sex, erectile difficulties, hormonal changes, or medication side effects, it’s worth seeing a medical provider as well. A urologist, gynecologist, or pelvic floor specialist can evaluate and treat the physical contributors. Many people benefit from working with both a sex therapist and a medical provider simultaneously. In fact, sex therapists often collaborate with physicians because addressing only one side of the equation tends to produce incomplete results.
Sex therapy can help with persistent sexual pain or dysfunction, struggles with desire or arousal, difficulty reaching orgasm, performance anxiety, mismatched desire between partners, navigating questions about gender or orientation, processing sexual trauma, and simply wanting to improve intimacy and pleasure in a relationship.
What Happens in Sex Therapy
Sex therapy is talk therapy. This is worth stating plainly because some people hesitate to seek it out due to misconceptions. A certified sex therapist will not touch you, ask you to undress, or engage in any sexual behavior with you. AASECT’s ethics code explicitly prohibits sexual contact between therapist and client, including kissing and any touching of breasts or genitals, regardless of whether the client consents. That prohibition is permanent, meaning it applies even after the therapeutic relationship ends. The only exception is for providers like physicians or pelvic floor specialists whose clinical license requires physical examination as part of standard care.
Your first session will look a lot like intake for any other type of therapy, with some additional questions. Expect your therapist to ask about your health and sexual background, your sex education growing up, your beliefs about sex, and the specific concerns that brought you in. You’ll work together to identify thoughts, behaviors, and relationship dynamics that are getting in the way of your sexual wellbeing. Some therapists assign exercises or conversations to practice at home between sessions, either individually or with a partner.
Sessions typically run 50 to 60 minutes, and many therapists see both individuals and couples. You don’t need to bring a partner to benefit from sex therapy.
Questions to Ask Before Committing
Most sex therapists offer a brief consultation call before you schedule a full session. Use it. A few questions worth asking:
- What is your approach to therapy? Some therapists lean cognitive-behavioral, others are more psychodynamic or use specific models for sexual concerns. You want someone whose style makes sense to you.
- What is your experience with my specific concern? A therapist who mostly works with couples on desire discrepancy may not be the best fit for someone processing sexual trauma, and vice versa.
- What is your experience working with diverse populations? This matters if your identity, relationship structure, or sexual expression falls outside mainstream norms. You want to know they won’t need you to educate them.
- Are you trained in trauma-informed care? Especially relevant if past sexual experiences, abuse, or medical trauma are part of the picture.
- What credentials do you hold? Look for AASECT certification or, at minimum, substantial continuing education in sex therapy.
Pay attention to how you feel during the consultation. A good sex therapist should make you feel less awkward about discussing sex, not more. If something feels off, trust that instinct and keep looking.
Cost and Insurance
Sex therapy sessions generally fall within the same range as other specialized therapy: roughly $100 to $250 per session without insurance. In-person sessions tend to run higher, from $100 to $350, while online sessions often cost $50 to $200. Your location, the therapist’s experience level, and session length all affect pricing.
Insurance can help. Under the Affordable Care Act, most plans must cover mental health services, and sex therapy falls under that umbrella. However, coverage depends on your specific plan, and some insurers are slower to cover online therapy or may limit the number of sessions. Many sex therapists operate on a private-pay basis and don’t accept insurance directly, though they can often provide a superbill you submit to your insurer for partial reimbursement. If cost is a barrier, ask about sliding scale fees. Many therapists offer reduced rates based on income, and some training clinics where supervised therapists see clients charge significantly less than private practice rates.
Online therapy has made sex therapy more accessible in areas where local specialists are scarce. Since much of sex therapy involves conversation rather than physical examination, video sessions work well for most concerns. This also gives you access to therapists outside your immediate area, which can be especially valuable if you live somewhere with few certified providers or need a therapist with a very specific specialty.