If someone in your life is showing signs of suicidal thinking, the most important thing you can do is take it seriously, stay calm, and connect them with support. You don’t need to be a therapist to make a difference. Showing up, listening without judgment, and helping them get through the immediate crisis can be lifesaving.
Recognize the Warning Signs
Sometimes a person will say directly that they want to die. Other times the signs are less obvious. The National Institute of Mental Health identifies three categories of warning signs worth paying attention to: what someone says, how they feel, and how their behavior changes.
Listen for talk about wanting to die, feeling like a burden to others, or experiencing deep guilt or shame. A person in crisis may describe feeling empty, hopeless, trapped, or like they have no reason to live. They may express unbearable emotional or physical pain, or seem unusually sad, anxious, agitated, or angry.
Behavioral shifts are equally telling. Watch for withdrawal from friends, giving away important possessions, saying goodbye in ways that feel final, or making a will unexpectedly. Increased use of drugs or alcohol, dramatic changes in eating or sleeping patterns, extreme mood swings, and reckless behavior like dangerous driving all warrant concern. These signs are especially urgent if the behavior is new or has recently intensified.
Ask Directly About Suicide
One of the most persistent fears people have is that asking about suicide will plant the idea. Research consistently shows the opposite: asking directly gives someone permission to talk about what they’re already experiencing. It opens a door instead of closing one.
You can be straightforward: “Are you thinking about suicide?” or “Are you having thoughts of ending your life?” A direct question signals that you can handle the answer and that they don’t need to protect you from the truth. If they say yes, stay with them. Don’t leave them alone.
Listen Without Trying to Fix
Your instinct may be to argue them out of it, list reasons to live, or offer solutions. Resist that urge, at least at first. What a person in crisis needs most is to feel heard, not corrected.
Use a nonjudgmental tone. Let them talk. Reflect back what they’re saying so they know you’re paying attention. You might say something like, “It sounds like you’re in a lot of pain right now,” or “You’re not stuck here, and these feelings can change. I’m here to help you get through this.” These phrases acknowledge suffering without dismissing it, and they gently introduce the idea that the crisis is temporary.
Avoid minimizing language like “You have so much to live for” or “Other people have it worse.” Even when well-intentioned, these responses can make someone feel more isolated. The goal is connection, not persuasion.
Help Them Build a Safety Plan
A safety plan is a concrete, written list of steps a person can take when suicidal thoughts intensify. It’s one of the most effective tools in suicide prevention, and you can help someone create one during a calmer moment. The widely used Stanley-Brown Safety Plan includes six steps:
- Identify personal warning signs. These are the thoughts, moods, images, or situations that signal a crisis is building. Recognizing them early gives someone a head start.
- List internal coping strategies. Things they can do alone to shift their focus: physical activity, deep breathing, a specific distraction like music or a walk outside.
- Identify people and places that provide distraction. Social settings or individuals who can help break the cycle of dark thoughts, even without knowing the full situation.
- Name people they can ask for help. Trusted friends or family members they’re willing to call when coping strategies aren’t enough.
- List professionals and crisis lines to contact. Therapists, counselors, or the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline (call, text, or chat 988), available 24/7.
- Make the environment safer. This means reducing access to anything that could be used for self-harm during a crisis.
Writing the plan down matters. A person in acute distress can’t easily think through options, but they can follow a list they made when they were more clearheaded.
Reduce Access to Lethal Means
Many suicides happen impulsively during moments of crisis, according to the World Health Organization. Financial problems, relationship breakdowns, chronic pain, or sudden loss can push someone past their ability to cope. Because these crises are often temporary, putting distance between a person and the means to act on suicidal thoughts can save their life.
If the person has access to firearms, work with them (or with a family member) to store guns locked and unloaded, with ammunition locked separately. Keys or lock combinations should be kept out of reach of the person at risk. For medications, ask a trusted family member to store them securely and dispense only safe quantities as needed. Sharp instruments should also be removed or secured.
This isn’t about taking away someone’s autonomy. It’s about buying time for the crisis to pass. Even a brief delay between impulse and access can be the difference between life and death.
Know When It’s an Emergency
If someone tells you they are having thoughts of killing themselves right now, or if they have a specific plan and access to means, that is an emergency. Stay with them. Do not leave them alone. Call 988, or take them to the nearest emergency room, where they can receive an immediate psychiatric evaluation.
Other situations that call for emergency action: the person has already harmed themselves, they’re under the influence of drugs or alcohol and expressing suicidal intent, or they’re in a state of extreme agitation that feels unpredictable. Trust your gut. If something feels urgent, treat it as urgent.
Stay Involved After the Crisis
The days and weeks after a suicidal crisis are a high-risk period. Don’t assume that because someone seems better, the danger has passed. Check in regularly. Send a text. Show up. Ask how they’re doing with their safety plan, whether they’ve connected with a therapist, or if they need help making an appointment.
Suicide is the third leading cause of death among 15- to 29-year-olds globally, and more than 727,000 people die by suicide worldwide each year. The risk factors are broad: mental health conditions like depression and alcohol use disorders, but also experiences of discrimination, isolation, conflict, abuse, and loss. Vulnerable groups, including refugees, indigenous peoples, LGBTQI+ individuals, and people who are incarcerated, face disproportionately higher rates. Understanding this context can help you recognize that someone’s pain is real and rooted in circumstances, not weakness.
Take Care of Yourself Too
Supporting someone through a suicidal crisis is emotionally exhausting. The weight of feeling responsible for another person’s life can lead to anxiety, sleep problems, and something called secondary traumatic stress, where you absorb the emotional toll of someone else’s pain.
This doesn’t mean you should step back from helping. It means you need your own support system. Check in with your own health care provider. Lean on friends or community. Find time for exercise, meditation, or whatever helps you decompress. If you’re a caregiver for someone with ongoing suicidal risk, look into peer support groups or caregiver-specific programs that can help you develop strategies and connect with others in similar situations.
You cannot pour from an empty cup. Maintaining your own mental health isn’t selfish. It’s what allows you to keep showing up for the person who needs you.