Relaxing the bulbospongiosus muscle requires a combination of breathing techniques, reverse kegels, and consistent practice over several weeks. This muscle sits at the base of the pelvis, wrapping around the perineum, and when it stays chronically tight, it can cause pain during sex, difficulty urinating, and a persistent aching pressure in the pelvic area. The good news is that most people can learn to release this tension on their own or with guidance from a pelvic floor physical therapist.
What the Bulbospongiosus Does
The bulbospongiosus is a thin, plate-like muscle that covers the bulb of the penis in men or surrounds the vaginal opening in women. It plays a role in three things: helping push out the last drops of urine, assisting with ejaculation or vaginal contraction, and supporting erections by compressing veins that trap blood in the penis. During normal function, this muscle contracts briefly when needed and then fully relaxes.
Problems start when the muscle doesn’t fully relax between contractions. This state, sometimes called a hypertonic pelvic floor, means the muscle stays partially clenched even at rest. It’s similar to walking around with your fist clenched all day: eventually, the muscle fatigues, develops tender spots, and starts producing pain.
How Chronic Tension Feels
A tight bulbospongiosus doesn’t always announce itself with sharp pain. Many people first notice a dull pressure or heaviness in the perineum, the area between the genitals and the anus. Over time, other symptoms can develop: pain during or after urination, a feeling of incomplete emptying, increased urinary frequency, or a burning sensation. Sexual symptoms are common too, including pain during intercourse, difficulty maintaining erections, or pain with ejaculation.
Some people also feel referred pain in the low back, hips, or inner thighs. Because the pelvic floor muscles work as a coordinated group, tension in the bulbospongiosus often means neighboring muscles are tight as well. This is why relaxation strategies target the entire pelvic floor rather than one muscle in isolation.
Why the Muscle Gets Tight
Stress is one of the most common drivers. Just as some people clench their jaw or hunch their shoulders under pressure, others unconsciously brace their pelvic floor throughout the day. Habitual “holding” patterns, where you tighten the perineum while sitting, concentrating, or feeling anxious, can train the muscle to stay contracted. Prolonged sitting, especially on hard surfaces or bicycle seats, puts sustained pressure on the perineum and can contribute to tension over time. Prior injuries, surgeries in the pelvic area, or overdoing kegel exercises can also push the muscle into a chronically shortened state.
Diaphragmatic Breathing
The simplest and most effective starting point is learning to breathe into your belly. Your diaphragm and pelvic floor muscles move together: when you inhale deeply, the diaphragm drops downward, and the pelvic floor naturally lengthens and relaxes in response. When you exhale, both rise back up. This coordination is automatic, but shallow chest breathing (which most people default to under stress) bypasses it entirely.
To practice, lie on your back with your knees bent and place one hand on your chest and the other on your belly. Breathe in slowly through your nose for four to five seconds, directing the air so your belly hand rises while your chest hand stays relatively still. As your belly expands, picture your pelvic floor gently dropping downward, like the bottom of a balloon inflating. Exhale slowly through your mouth. Repeat for five to ten minutes. This alone can produce a noticeable reduction in perineal tension, especially if you practice twice daily.
How to Do Reverse Kegels
A reverse kegel is the opposite of the squeeze-and-hold exercise most people associate with pelvic floor training. Instead of tightening, you’re intentionally lengthening the muscles between your pubic bone and tailbone. You can do this sitting, standing, or lying down.
Start with a deep diaphragmatic breath. As you inhale, gently bear down as if you’re trying to pass gas or start urinating. You should feel a subtle bulging or opening sensation in your perineum. The key word is gentle: you’re not pushing hard, just allowing the muscles to release and lengthen. Hold this relaxed, open position for about five seconds, then let everything return to neutral for another five seconds. Aim for two to three sets of ten repetitions spread throughout the day.
Keep your belly soft during the entire exercise. If you notice yourself holding your breath or tightening your abs, reset and start again with the breathing. Once five-second holds feel easy, gradually extend the hold and release times. Many people find it helpful to practice while sitting on a rolled-up towel placed lengthwise under the perineum, which gives tactile feedback so you can feel the muscles releasing downward.
External Trigger Point Release
Trigger points, small knots of contracted muscle fiber, often develop in a chronically tight pelvic floor. You can address superficial trigger points externally by applying gentle, sustained pressure to the perineum using a tennis ball or your fingers. Sit on the floor or a firm chair with a tennis ball positioned under one side of the perineum. Let your body weight provide the pressure (don’t grind into it) and hold for 60 to 90 seconds, breathing deeply, until you feel the tissue soften. Then reposition to another tender spot.
For deeper trigger points that external pressure can’t reach, pelvic wands are designed to apply targeted massage internally. These devices curve to reach the pelvic floor muscles and can improve local circulation and release contracted tissue. If you’re new to internal work, it’s worth having a pelvic floor physical therapist show you proper technique first so you avoid aggravating the area.
Biofeedback Training
One of the biggest challenges with pelvic floor relaxation is that you can’t see the muscle working. Biofeedback solves this by using a small sensor placed on or near the pelvic floor that displays your muscle activity on a screen in real time. When the muscle is at rest, the graph stays flat and quiet. When it contracts, the line spikes. This visual feedback helps you identify whether you’re actually relaxing the muscle or just thinking you are.
Biofeedback is typically done in a physical therapist’s office. The therapist can print out your session graphs over time so you can see concrete improvement. Many people find this motivating, and it’s especially useful if you’ve been trying breathing and reverse kegels on your own without clear results. It helps you locate the correct muscles and learn what true relaxation feels like, a skill you can then replicate at home without the equipment.
What to Expect With Professional Treatment
Pelvic floor physical therapy is the most well-studied professional treatment for hypertonic pelvic muscles. A typical session involves manual release of tight tissues, guided exercises, and education on posture and habits that contribute to tension. Therapists may also use techniques like stretching, myofascial release, or biofeedback depending on your specific pattern of tightness.
It’s worth knowing that pelvic floor physical therapy works well for roughly two-thirds of patients. Attendance can be a barrier: studies show only 15 to 40 percent of people who are referred to pelvic floor therapy actually follow through with their appointments. Consistency matters more than perfection here. Going regularly and practicing at home between sessions is what drives results.
Realistic Timeline for Improvement
Pelvic floor muscles respond to training on a timeline of weeks to months, not days. In the first two weeks of daily practice, the primary goal is simply learning to coordinate your breathing with pelvic floor movement. By weeks three and four, you should be able to perform short contract-and-relax cycles (holding for under five seconds) with some awareness of what relaxation actually feels like. Around weeks five and six, longer holds of ten seconds become realistic.
Meaningful recovery of pelvic floor muscle function generally takes four to six months of consistent work. Some people notice symptom relief much sooner, sometimes within a few weeks of starting diaphragmatic breathing and reverse kegels. Others, particularly those who have been tight for years, need more time. The trajectory isn’t always linear: you may have a week of significant improvement followed by a plateau. This is normal and not a sign that the approach isn’t working.
Daily Habits That Help
Beyond targeted exercises, small adjustments throughout your day can reduce the baseline tension your pelvic floor carries. Check in with your body a few times per hour, especially while sitting at a desk, driving, or scrolling your phone. If you notice you’re clenching your perineum, take three slow belly breaths and consciously let go. Over time, this awareness rewires the unconscious bracing pattern.
Warm baths can temporarily relax pelvic floor muscles and provide symptom relief. Sitting on a cushion rather than a hard surface reduces direct pressure on the perineum. If you cycle regularly, a seat with a cutout designed to relieve perineal pressure is a worthwhile investment. Avoid doing traditional kegels unless a therapist has confirmed you need strengthening rather than relaxation. For a hypertonic pelvic floor, kegels can make things significantly worse by adding tension to muscles that are already too tight.