Most men who want to last longer during sex can make meaningful improvements with a combination of physical techniques, behavioral strategies, and, in some cases, over-the-counter or prescription options. The clinical threshold for premature ejaculation is finishing within about two minutes of penetration, but you don’t need a diagnosis to benefit from these approaches. Whether you’re consistently finishing faster than you’d like or it happens situationally, the strategies below work on the same underlying mechanisms: reducing penile sensitivity, strengthening muscular control, and calming the nervous system response that speeds things along.
Strengthen Your Pelvic Floor
The muscles that control ejaculation are the same ones you’d use to stop urinating midstream. Strengthening them gives you more voluntary control over the point of no return. These are called Kegel exercises, and they’re one of the most effective long-term strategies available.
The routine is simple. Squeeze your pelvic floor muscles and hold for five seconds, then relax for five seconds. Repeat 10 times. Do three sessions per day, ideally spread across morning, afternoon, and evening. Over time, work up to holding each squeeze for 10 seconds with 10 seconds of rest between reps. The key mistake people make is holding their breath or tightening their stomach and glutes instead. Focus the squeeze on the muscles between your sit bones, and count out loud to keep breathing normally.
This isn’t an overnight fix. Expect to practice consistently for several weeks before you notice a difference during sex. But once that muscular control develops, it gives you something active to do in the moment when you feel yourself getting close.
Learn the Squeeze and Stop-Start Methods
Two behavioral techniques have been used in sex therapy for decades, and both train your body to tolerate higher levels of arousal without tipping over the edge.
The stop-start method is exactly what it sounds like. During sex or masturbation, you stop all stimulation when you feel yourself approaching the point of no return. You pause, let the urgency subside, then resume. Over repeated sessions, this trains your nervous system to stay in a higher state of arousal without automatically triggering ejaculation.
The squeeze technique adds a physical component. When you feel close, you or your partner grips the end of the penis where the head meets the shaft and applies firm (but not painful) pressure for several seconds, until the feeling of impending climax passes. Then you resume. Both methods work best when practiced regularly, not just during partnered sex. You can train the response solo and bring that control into the bedroom.
Use Breathing to Slow Your Nervous System
Ejaculation is partly controlled by your sympathetic nervous system, the same “fight or flight” system that revs up when you’re anxious or overstimulated. Diaphragmatic breathing, sometimes called belly breathing, activates the opposing system that slows things down.
The technique involves taking slow, deep breaths in and out through your nose, letting your ribcage and belly expand rather than breathing shallowly into your chest. Research from the Sexual Medicine Society of North America found that practicing this for 10 breaths per session, twice daily for eight weeks, improved ejaculatory control when combined with other treatments. During sex, shifting to this slower breathing pattern when you feel yourself speeding up can buy you real time. It also helps with performance anxiety, which is one of the most common reasons men finish faster than they want to.
Desensitizing Products
If you want something that works the first time you use it, topical numbing agents are the most direct option. These come in three main forms: sprays, creams, and condoms with a numbing agent built in.
Lidocaine-based sprays are applied directly to the head of the penis about five minutes before sex. The typical method is three sprays to the glans, then wiping the surface before penetration so the numbing agent doesn’t transfer to your partner. Uncircumcised men should retract the foreskin before applying. The goal isn’t to eliminate sensation entirely, just to lower sensitivity enough to extend your timeline.
Desensitizing condoms use benzocaine, typically at 3% to 5% concentration, applied as a paste or gel on the inside of the condom. These are widely available at drugstores and don’t require a prescription. They’re a good starting point if you want to try a low-commitment option.
Prescription-strength numbing creams containing a combination of lidocaine and prilocaine are applied 20 to 30 minutes before sex and then wiped off. These require a prescription in most countries but offer more consistent dosing than over-the-counter products.
Prescription Medications
Certain antidepressants have a well-documented side effect of delaying ejaculation, and doctors prescribe them specifically for this purpose. The most commonly used is paroxetine, which has shown the strongest effect on ejaculatory latency among the options studied. It can be taken daily or as a single dose three to four hours before sex.
Sertraline is another option, sometimes taken daily or as a single dose four to eight hours before intercourse. Fluoxetine at low daily doses has also been shown to delay ejaculation and improve satisfaction for both partners. These medications work by altering serotonin levels, which plays a direct role in the ejaculatory reflex. They do carry potential side effects, including changes in mood, energy, and sexual desire, so they’re typically reserved for cases where behavioral and topical approaches haven’t been enough.
What About Masturbating Beforehand?
The idea of masturbating an hour or two before sex is one of the most common pieces of informal advice, and there’s some logic to it. After ejaculation, your body enters a refractory period during which arousal builds more slowly and sensitivity is temporarily reduced. For some men, this creates a noticeable difference in how long they last during a second round.
There’s a tradeoff, though. Research on masturbation frequency and sexual function found that while more frequent ejaculation was associated with better ejaculatory latency, it also correlated with worse orgasmic function and lower intercourse satisfaction. In other words, you might last longer but enjoy it less. Very frequent masturbation can also raise your orgasmic threshold to the point where finishing becomes difficult rather than just delayed. As a short-term strategy it can work, but it’s not a reliable long-term solution on its own.
Combining Approaches Works Best
The men who see the most improvement typically layer several of these strategies together rather than relying on just one. A practical starting plan might look like this: begin a daily Kegel routine to build long-term muscular control, practice diaphragmatic breathing twice a day to train your nervous system, and use a desensitizing condom or spray for immediate results while the other habits develop. Add the stop-start or squeeze technique during solo practice so you build familiarity with your own arousal curve.
Performance anxiety deserves its own mention here because it creates a vicious cycle. Worrying about finishing too fast increases sympathetic nervous system activity, which makes you finish faster, which increases the anxiety next time. The breathing exercises help break this loop physiologically, but simply having a toolkit of strategies can reduce the mental pressure. When you know you have options, the anxiety loses some of its grip.