The prostate is located about two inches inside the rectum, toward the front of the body. You can reach it with a finger by inserting gently and curling upward, toward the belly button. It can also be stimulated externally through the perineum, the strip of skin between the scrotum and the anus. Both approaches are straightforward once you understand the anatomy and take a few preparation steps.
Where the Prostate Is
The prostate sits just below the bladder, surrounding the urethra. From inside the rectum, it’s roughly two knuckles deep. A healthy prostate weighs about 25 grams and is roughly the size of a walnut. Through the rectal wall, it feels like a rounded, slightly firm bulge, distinct from the softer tissue around it.
When you insert a finger and curl it toward the front of the body (toward your navel), you’ll feel that firmer area against the front wall of the rectum. That’s the prostate.
Preparation and Hygiene
Trim your fingernails short and smooth before starting. Even a small rough edge can scratch the delicate tissue inside the rectum, increasing the risk of bleeding or infection. Wash your hands thoroughly with soap and water. Wearing a latex or nitrile glove, or a finger cot, makes insertion smoother and adds an extra layer of hygiene.
Use plenty of lubricant. The rectum doesn’t produce its own lubrication the way other parts of the body do, so a water-based or silicone-based lubricant is essential. Apply it generously to both the finger (or toy) and the opening itself. Reapply as needed.
Getting Comfortable First
Tension in the pelvic floor muscles makes insertion uncomfortable or difficult. Before you begin, take a few minutes to relax. Breathe normally and avoid holding your breath. Focus on releasing the muscles around the buttocks and thighs rather than clenching them.
Body position matters. A few options that make access easier:
- Legs up: Lie on your back and pull your knees toward your chest. Hold them in place with one arm and use the other hand to reach.
- On your side: Lie on your side and bring your top knee up toward your chest. This opens the area and lets you reach behind comfortably.
- Face down: Lie on your stomach and reach your arm behind you. This can feel more relaxed for some people, though the angle requires a bit of flexibility.
Experiment to find which position gives you the best combination of comfort and reach.
External Stimulation Through the Perineum
If you’re not ready for internal access, you can stimulate the prostate from the outside. The perineum, the area of skin between the scrotum and the anus, sits directly over the prostate. Use the pads of your index and middle fingers to press, rub, or stroke this area.
Start closer to the scrotum and move gradually backward toward the anus. You’ll know you’ve found the right spot when the tissue beneath the skin feels softer and you notice an increase in sensation. Some people also feel a mild urge to urinate, which is normal since the prostate sits right next to the bladder. Try varying the pressure and speed to see what feels best.
Internal Technique
Apply lubricant, then slowly insert one finger into the rectum. Go at your own pace. Once you’re about two inches in (roughly two finger knuckles), gently curl your finger upward, toward the front of the body. You should feel the rounded, firmer surface of the prostate against the rectal wall.
From there, try a slow “come hither” motion, curling and releasing the fingertip against the gland. You can also use steady, gentle pressure or small circular motions. Start light. The tissue in this area is sensitive, and too much force can cause discomfort, tearing of the rectal lining, or nerve irritation. If something hurts, ease up or stop.
Many people combine internal stimulation with external touch on the penis or perineum. The combination tends to intensify the sensation considerably.
What to Avoid
Aggressive pressure is the most common mistake. Pressing too hard on the prostate can damage the nerves that run through the surrounding erectile tissue, potentially causing pain or temporary erectile problems. Rough handling also risks rectal bleeding, which in turn raises the chance of bacterial infection.
Certain health conditions make prostate stimulation unsafe. People with acute bacterial prostatitis (an active prostate infection with fever, pain, and urinary symptoms) should avoid any prostate contact, because massage can push bacteria into the urethra and bloodstream. Anyone with hemorrhoids or anal fissures should also skip internal stimulation, as it can worsen bleeding and introduce infection.
Always use clean hands or gloves. Inserting unwashed fingers introduces bacteria directly into an area that’s vulnerable to infection.
Does Prostate Massage Have Health Benefits?
Prostate massage was once used by doctors to treat chronic pelvic pain and prostatitis, but modern urology has largely moved away from it. Cleveland Clinic urologists note there is no strong evidence that massaging the prostate itself provides lasting medical benefit. When patients in the past reported symptom relief, the improvement likely came from loosening the surrounding pelvic floor muscles rather than from any effect on the prostate gland itself.
That distinction matters. If you’re experiencing pelvic pain, painful ejaculation, or urinary issues, the underlying cause is worth identifying rather than trying to self-treat through massage. The prostate can be explored safely for pleasure, but it’s not a reliable therapeutic tool for ongoing symptoms.