A separate bidet is the freestanding, sink-like fixture you’ll find next to the toilet in many European and South American bathrooms. Using one is straightforward once you know the sequence: use the toilet first, move to the bidet, adjust the water, clean yourself, and dry off. If you’ve never encountered one before, here’s exactly what to do.
The Basic Sequence
After you finish on the toilet, do a preliminary wipe with toilet paper. You don’t need to be thorough here, just enough to remove the bulk of things before you transition. Then stand, move to the bidet (it’s typically right next to the toilet), and sit down.
You have two options for how to sit. You can straddle the bidet facing the faucet controls, which gives you easy access to adjust water temperature and pressure in real time. Or you can sit with your back to the controls, the same way you’d sit on a toilet. Facing the faucet is generally easier for cleaning the front of your body, while facing away works well for cleaning the rear. There’s no wrong answer. Try both and see what feels natural.
Adjusting Water Temperature and Pressure
Before you position yourself directly over the water stream, turn the faucet on gently and test the temperature with your hand. Start cool and increase gradually. A sudden blast of hot water is the most common beginner mistake, and it’s entirely avoidable.
Most standalone bidets have two knobs or a single mixer tap, just like a sink. One controls hot water, one controls cold, and the flow rate determines pressure. Start with low pressure and work up until you find a comfortable level. You want enough force to clean effectively but not so much that it’s uncomfortable. The stream should feel like a gentle rinse, not a power wash.
How to Actually Clean Yourself
Once the water temperature and pressure feel right, lower yourself over the stream. Use your hand to help direct water where you need it, washing the way you would in a shower. Some people use a mild, unscented soap for a more thorough clean, but water alone is effective for routine use after the toilet. Wash for about 20 to 30 seconds, or until you feel clean.
If the bidet has a vertical spray nozzle in the basin (some models do), position yourself directly over it. If the water flows from a faucet at the rim, you may need to cup water with your hand or adjust your position to direct the flow. Every bidet is slightly different, so don’t be afraid to experiment the first few times.
Drying Off
You’re clean at this point, so drying is simple. Grab a few squares of toilet paper and pat dry gently. There’s no need to wipe, just dab away excess water. A patting motion is easier on sensitive skin than dragging paper across it.
In homes where bidets are used daily, you’ll often find a small stack of dedicated bidet towels nearby. These are soft cloth towels, usually about washcloth-sized, meant to be used once and then laundered. If you want to go this route at home, keep a basket of clean towels next to the bidet and a separate bin for used ones. Wash them regularly with hot water.
Guest Etiquette
If you’re visiting someone’s home and spot towels near the bidet, don’t assume they’re for drying after bidet use. They may be regular hand towels. Ask the host, or simply use toilet paper to dry off. If you travel frequently to countries where bidets are standard, carrying a small personal towel is a practical solution.
Why Water Cleans Better Than Paper
Water rinses away residue that dry paper smears around. People with hemorrhoids often find that using a bidet reduces pain and irritation around the anus, since there’s no friction from wiping. The same applies during menstruation, where a water rinse can feel significantly more refreshing than paper alone.
That said, the health picture isn’t entirely one-sided. A three-year follow-up study published through Cambridge University Press found that habitual bidet users who were male reported slightly higher rates of irritated skin around the anus compared to non-users. Among women, habitual use was associated with somewhat higher prevalence of self-reported bladder infections, though researchers noted this likely reflects reverse causation: people who already experience these symptoms turn to bidets for relief, rather than bidets causing the problem. The takeaway is that normal, moderate use is beneficial for most people, but overwashing (using very high pressure or washing many times a day) can irritate skin over time.
Keeping Your Bidet Clean
A standalone ceramic bidet is cleaned the same way you’d clean a toilet or a bathroom sink. Give it a quick wipe with a bathroom cleaner about once a week, paying attention to the basin, the rim, and the faucet handles. A non-abrasive cleaner or a spray of diluted white vinegar works well on ceramic surfaces.
If you live in an area with hard water, mineral deposits will eventually build up around the faucet and drain. To remove them, soak a cloth in a half-and-half mixture of warm water and distilled white vinegar, lay it over the affected area, and let it sit for up to an hour. Then scrub with a small brush and wipe clean. Doing this every month or two prevents the kind of crusty buildup that becomes difficult to remove later.
After each use, run water through the basin briefly to rinse it out. This takes five seconds and keeps the bidet noticeably fresher between weekly cleanings.