If you’re drunk right now, the most important things are to stop drinking, drink water, eat something, and get to a safe place where you can ride it out. Your liver processes roughly one standard drink per hour, and nothing speeds that up. The only real cure is time. What you can do is keep yourself (or the person you’re looking after) comfortable and safe while your body does the work.
Stop Drinking and Start With Water
Put the alcohol down. Every additional drink adds another hour to your recovery timeline. Switch to water or a sports drink and sip steadily. Alcohol is a diuretic, meaning it pulls water out of your body faster than normal, which is why you feel thirsty, dizzy, or headachy. Rehydrating won’t sober you up, but it reduces the severity of what you’re feeling now and what you’ll feel tomorrow.
If you can eat, do it. Food that combines protein, fat, and carbohydrates is ideal. Think toast with peanut butter, a bowl of rice, or crackers with cheese. Eating while you still have alcohol in your system increases the rate your body clears it from your blood by 25 to 45 percent, according to research from Johns Hopkins. Food also helps stabilize your blood sugar, which alcohol tends to drop.
What Actually Sobers You Up
Time. That’s the full list. Your liver breaks down about one standard drink per hour, and no hack changes that rate. A cold shower, black coffee, fresh air, and exercise will not lower your blood alcohol level. Coffee can partially reverse the sleepy feeling alcohol causes, which might make you feel more alert, but your coordination, judgment, and reaction time remain impaired. Feeling awake and being sober are not the same thing.
A standard drink is 12 ounces of regular beer, 5 ounces of wine, or 1.5 ounces of liquor. If you had six drinks and stopped at midnight, you’re likely still impaired at 4 or 5 a.m. Plan accordingly.
Do Not Drive
The legal blood alcohol limit for driving is 0.08 in most U.S. states, though some states are moving to lower that to 0.05. Even below the legal limit, alcohol impairs your ability to react and make decisions. If you’re noticeably drunk, you are well above any legal threshold. Call a rideshare, a friend, or sleep where you are. Driving is the single most dangerous thing you can do while intoxicated.
Skip the Painkillers for Now
It’s tempting to take something for the headache, but mixing common pain relievers with alcohol carries real risks. Ibuprofen, aspirin, and naproxen all increase your chance of gastrointestinal bleeding when combined with alcohol. Even one drink per day raises that risk by about 37 percent, and you’ve had more than one. Acetaminophen (Tylenol) is potentially worse: alcohol changes how your liver processes it, increasing the production of a toxic byproduct that can damage your liver. Wait until you’re sober and hydrated before reaching for any over-the-counter painkiller.
How to Sleep Safely
If you’re putting yourself to bed, sleep on your side, not your back. Vomiting while unconscious on your back is a choking risk. Place a pillow behind you so you don’t roll over.
If you’re looking after someone else who is very drunk, use what’s known as the recovery position:
- Step one: Raise the arm closest to you above their head, then gently roll them toward you.
- Step two: Guard their head as they roll so it doesn’t hit the floor. Their head should rest in front of their arm, not on top of it.
- Step three: Tilt their head up slightly to keep the airway open. Tuck their nearest hand under their cheek to keep the head tilted and their face off the surface.
Check on them frequently. Do not leave a heavily intoxicated person alone to “sleep it off.” Blood alcohol can continue rising after someone stops drinking, especially if they consumed a lot in a short window.
When It’s an Emergency
There is a real line between being drunk and having alcohol poisoning, and it can be hard to tell the difference from the outside. Call 911 if you see any of these signs in yourself or someone else:
- Breathing that has slowed to fewer than 8 breaths per minute
- Gaps of 10 seconds or more between breaths
- Inability to wake up or stay conscious
- Seizures
- Vomiting while unconscious or semi-conscious
- Skin that is clammy, bluish, or unusually pale
- Extremely low body temperature
Alcohol poisoning kills by suppressing the basic functions your body runs on autopilot: breathing, heart rate, temperature regulation, and the gag reflex that prevents you from choking on vomit. A person does not need to show every symptom on this list. Even one or two of these signs, especially slow or irregular breathing, means their body is in trouble. Don’t worry about overreacting. Don’t worry about getting someone in trouble. Call for help.
The Morning After
When you wake up, your body is dehydrated, your blood sugar is low, and your stomach lining is irritated. Drink water before anything else. Eat bland, easy foods: bananas, plain toast, eggs, oatmeal. These give your body the carbohydrates and electrolytes it needs to recover without further upsetting your stomach.
A hangover typically peaks when your blood alcohol hits zero, not while you’re still processing alcohol. This is why you can feel worse several hours after your last drink. Most hangovers resolve within 24 hours, though heavy drinking can leave you foggy and fatigued for longer. Rest, fluids, and food are the only evidence-based treatments. There is no shortcut.