If someone near you is having a nightmare, the best thing you can do is stay calm and avoid waking them up. Waking a person mid-nightmare makes them more likely to remember the disturbing dream and can leave them disoriented and confused. In most cases, the episode will pass on its own within minutes, and the sleeper won’t recall it in the morning.
That said, what looks like a nightmare might actually be a night terror, and the two call for different responses. Here’s how to tell them apart and what to do in each situation.
Nightmares vs. Night Terrors
Nightmares happen during REM sleep, typically in the second half of the night or early morning. The person may whimper, twitch, or make small sounds, but they generally stay still in bed. If they do wake up on their own, they can usually describe what they were dreaming about.
Night terrors look much more dramatic. They tend to strike in the first half of the night and involve screaming, thrashing, sitting bolt upright, sweating, and a racing heart. The person’s eyes may be wide open, but they’re not actually awake. They’re extremely hard to rouse, and if you do manage to wake them, they’ll likely be deeply confused. Most people have no memory of a night terror the next day. Night terrors are most common in children but can occur in adults as well.
What to Do During a Nightmare
Stay nearby and wait. The nightmare will typically end on its own. If the person wakes up naturally, speak softly, remind them where they are, and let them reorient. A glass of water, a calm voice, and a few minutes of quiet conversation are usually enough to help them settle back to sleep.
If the nightmare seems prolonged or the person is clearly in distress (crying out, breathing rapidly), you can try gently touching their arm or speaking their name in a calm tone. The goal is a soft nudge toward waking rather than a sudden shake, which can cause confusion and spike their heart rate even further.
What to Do During a Night Terror
Night terrors require a hands-off approach. Do not try to shake the person awake or shout at them. This almost always makes things worse and can escalate the agitation. Instead, stay close and make sure they’re physically safe. People experiencing night terrors can fall out of bed, run into walls, or stumble down stairs without any awareness of what they’re doing.
Gently guide them back toward bed if they get up, but avoid restraining them. Holding someone down or blocking their path can trigger aggressive reactions. With children, gentle holding may help if the child seems to settle from it, but if it increases the struggle, let go and simply stay nearby until the episode passes. Night terrors usually last anywhere from a few seconds to several minutes.
Making the Sleep Environment Safer
If someone in your household has frequent night terrors or acts out physically during nightmares, a few simple changes reduce the risk of injury. Lock windows and exterior doors at night. Block stairways with a gate. Move sharp objects, fragile items, and electrical cords out of the path between the bed and the door. Avoid bunk beds. If weapons are in the home, lock them up.
Helping a Child After a Nightmare
Children who wake from nightmares need comfort and reassurance, not logic. Cuddle them, tell them they’re safe, and stay with them until they calm down. Let them sleep in their own bed rather than moving to yours, as this helps them rebuild confidence that their room is a safe place. Leave the bedroom door open, and consider giving them a favorite stuffed animal or blanket for comfort.
Resist the urge to spend a long time searching under the bed or in the closet for monsters. A quick check is fine, but an extended search can reinforce the idea that there really was something to fear. During the day, encourage your child to talk about the bad dream. Putting the experience into words can take away some of its power.
At bedtime, steer the conversation toward happy or fun things. Read stories about characters who overcome nighttime fears. And limit exposure to scary movies, shows, or video games, especially in the hours before sleep.
Common Nightmare Triggers
Occasional nightmares are normal, but certain habits and substances make them more frequent. Stressful or frightening media consumed close to bedtime, including news, horror films, or intense video games, can feed directly into dream content. What you take in during the last few hours before sleep has an outsized effect on your dreams.
Alcohol is a particularly common culprit. Drinking close to bedtime disrupts REM sleep, and when REM rebounds later in the night, nightmares often come with it. Caffeine consumed too late in the day is linked to increased nightmare activity in some people. Stimulant drugs, especially during withdrawal, can also trigger vivid bad dreams.
Several common medications list nightmares as a side effect, including certain antidepressants, beta-blockers used for blood pressure, antipsychotic medications, and even melatonin supplements. If nightmares started or worsened after beginning a new medication, that connection is worth exploring with a prescriber.
When Nightmares Become a Pattern
A nightmare once in a while is just part of being human. But when bad dreams occur at least once a month and cause real distress, difficulty falling back asleep, or daytime fatigue, they may cross into what clinicians call nightmare disorder. Severity ranges from mild (less than one episode per week) to severe (nightly). There’s no strict frequency cutoff for diagnosis. What matters is whether the nightmares are disrupting your life.
One of the most effective treatments for recurring nightmares is a technique called imagery rehearsal therapy. It works like this: during the day, you write out the narrative of a recurring nightmare, then deliberately change some element of the dream, such as the ending, the setting, or what you do in it. You then spend a few minutes each day mentally rehearsing the new version. Over time, this retrains the brain’s dream patterns and reduces both the frequency and intensity of nightmares. Multiple studies have shown it works for nightmares related to trauma as well as those with no clear cause.
Good sleep hygiene also makes a meaningful difference. Keep a consistent sleep schedule, limit alcohol and caffeine in the evening, create a cool and dark sleep environment, and build a wind-down routine that avoids screens and stressful content in the hour before bed.