The request from a person with dementia to “go home” is a common and emotionally challenging symptom for caregivers. This phrase frequently occurs during “sundowning” (late afternoon or evening), increasing confusion, agitation, and restlessness. Hearing this request can be frustrating, especially when the person is already in their current residence or a care facility. The key to managing this situation is understanding that the request is rarely a literal desire to relocate, but rather a manifestation of a deeper, unmet emotional need.
Decoding the Desire to “Go Home”
The desire to “go home” is a psychological signal, representing a longing for security, comfort, and familiarity. Dementia affects the hippocampus, blurring the lines between past and present reality. Since long-term memories remain more accessible, the “home” sought is often a place from childhood or a time when they felt independent.
This expression signals underlying emotional distress, such as fear, confusion, or loneliness. When feeling overwhelmed, they instinctively reach for “home” as a sanctuary. Correcting their reality by stating, “You are home,” is counterproductive and increases agitation. Caregivers must address the emotional message rather than the factual inaccuracy.
Immediate Communication Strategies
The immediate response should prioritize validation and empathy over correction. Validation is a therapeutic technique that acknowledges the person’s current reality and feelings, helping reduce stress and agitation. A calm, reassuring tone and open body language are necessary to convey safety and support.
Begin by validating the feeling behind the words, perhaps by saying, “You sound like you really miss that place,” or “Tell me about your home.” This shows you are actively listening and value their emotions. Avoid asking “why” they want to go home, as this requires cognitive reasoning that may be unavailable. Instead, use “who,” “what,” or “where” questions to gather details about the feeling.
Caregivers can employ therapeutic fibbing, using gentle untruths to delay or distract and prioritize emotional well-being. For example, a caregiver might say, “We will go home after we finish this cup of tea,” or “Your ride is running late, but can you help me with this?” This technique sidesteps confrontation with reality and provides a bridge to redirection. The kindest approach is to step into their reality, ensuring they feel secure and heard.
Practical Redirection and Environmental Adjustments
After verbal validation, the next step involves physical and environmental interventions to shift focus. The urge to leave often stems from an unmet physical need, so caregivers should run a quick checklist. Addressing basic physiological requirements—such as hunger, thirst, pain, or needing the restroom—can sometimes resolve the restlessness immediately.
Meaningful distraction is a powerful tool, especially when the activity relates to the person’s past life. Engaging them in a familiar, simple task, such as folding laundry, looking at old photo albums, or helping with a kitchen chore, provides a sense of purpose and comfort. This returns a feeling of control or competence, which the abstract “home” often represents. Sensory cues are also effective, utilizing soothing music, familiar scents, or tactile objects to ground the individual.
For restlessness occurring later in the day, managing the environment is important for “sundowning.” Ensuring the home is well-lit is recommended, as low light and shadows increase visual confusion and fear. Moving the person to a different, quieter room or taking a short, supervised walk can provide the change of scenery they seek. Reducing environmental stimulation, such as turning off the television or lowering music volume, helps create a calming atmosphere.
Prioritizing Safety and Prevention
While redirection manages the immediate crisis, long-term safety requires preventative measures against wandering (elopement). Approximately 60% of people with dementia will wander, making home security a serious consideration. Subtle safety measures on exterior doors, such as deadbolts placed high or low out of sight, help prevent unsupervised exits. Door or window alarms and motion sensors can also alert caregivers when a door is opened.
A consistent, predictable daily routine is an effective preventative strategy, as it reduces anxiety and confusion that trigger the desire to leave. Scheduling stimulating activities earlier in the day and maintaining consistent mealtimes and bedtimes supports the person’s internal clock. For identification and tracking, ensuring the person wears an ID bracelet or a GPS tracking device is a safety step.
If the behavior becomes frequent, unmanageable, or poses a significant risk, professional consultation is warranted. Increased agitation and confusion may signal the need for a medication review with a geriatric specialist. Having a safety plan prepared in advance, including a recent photograph and a list of places the person might wander to, allows for immediate action if they go missing.