Most people with vaginas don’t squirt, and that’s completely normal. Surveys put the number of women who have ever experienced squirting somewhere between 10% and 54%, with one large 2023 study landing at about 41%. The wide range itself tells you something important: this is a highly variable experience shaped by anatomy, arousal, mental state, and muscle tension. Not squirting doesn’t mean anything is wrong with your body or your sex life.
What Squirting Actually Is
Squirting and female ejaculation are often used interchangeably, but they’re two distinct things. Female ejaculation is a small amount of thick, milky, white or gray fluid released at orgasm. It comes from the Skene’s glands, two tiny structures (roughly blueberry-sized) that sit on either side of the urethra. These glands produce an enzyme called PSA, the same one found in male prostate fluid, which is why they’re sometimes called the “female prostate.”
Squirting is different. It involves a larger volume of clear, watery fluid that can happen during arousal or orgasm. Research published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine found that this fluid is chemically similar to dilute urine, originating from the bladder. In some women, the squirted fluid also contains small amounts of PSA from the Skene’s glands, meaning it can be a mix of both sources. In two of seven women studied, the fluid was chemically indistinguishable from urine. So squirting isn’t a single, universal phenomenon. It varies from person to person in composition, volume, and whether it happens at all.
Your Anatomy Plays a Major Role
The Skene’s glands vary significantly in size from person to person. Some people have well-developed glands with prominent openings; others have glands so small they’re nearly impossible to detect. This isn’t something you can change through technique or practice. If your Skene’s glands are smaller or produce less fluid, you’re simply less likely to notice any ejaculate during sex. The fluid they produce during arousal also serves a lubrication function, so you may be experiencing some secretion without recognizing it as ejaculation.
The position and development of these glands, along with the surrounding tissue and the way your bladder and urethra respond to pressure during arousal, all contribute to whether fluid is expelled noticeably or not. There’s no “broken” version of this anatomy. It’s just variation, like differences in breast size or clitoral sensitivity.
The Mental Block Is Real
Many people who’ve eventually experienced squirting describe the buildup as feeling almost identical to needing to pee. That sensation makes perfect sense given that the fluid partly originates from or passes through the same area as urine. But for most people, the brain’s natural response to “I feel like I need to urinate” is to clamp down and hold it in, especially during an intimate moment.
This isn’t just a willpower issue. Anxiety and self-consciousness cause the muscles around the bladder and urethra to tense involuntarily. The more you worry about it, the tighter those muscles grip. It’s the same mechanism behind “shy bladder syndrome,” where people physically can pee but anxiety prevents the muscles from relaxing enough to let it happen. Trying to force the outcome only increases tension and makes it less likely.
If you’re focused on squirting as a goal during sex, that pressure can work against you. The monitoring, the anticipation, the worry about whether it will happen (or whether you’ll wet the bed) all activate the part of your nervous system that tightens rather than releases.
Pelvic Floor Tension Matters
Your pelvic floor muscles control the flow of urine, support your organs, and play a direct role in sexual response. Some people carry chronic tension in these muscles, a condition called hypertonic pelvic floor. When these muscles are stuck in a state of constant low-level contraction, they can’t fully relax during arousal or orgasm. That makes it harder to release any fluid, even if the glands and bladder are producing it.
Signs of a tense pelvic floor include difficulty starting a urine stream, pain during penetration, or a feeling of tightness in the pelvis that doesn’t ease with rest. Pelvic floor physical therapy can help if this applies to you, and the benefits extend well beyond squirting to overall comfort during sex and daily life.
Squirting Has Nothing to Do With Better Orgasms
Research confirms that women who don’t release any fluid during orgasm can be fully sexually healthy by every clinical measure. In one study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, participants who never squirted scored normally on standardized sexual function assessments and reported satisfying orgasms. Squirting is not a marker of arousal quality, orgasm intensity, or sexual health.
Porn has dramatically distorted expectations here. On-screen squirting is often exaggerated, simulated, or selected from a tiny percentage of performers for whom it happens easily. Treating it as a standard sexual milestone sets up an unfair comparison. Some bodies do it readily, some do it occasionally, and many never do. All three are normal variations.
What You Can Try (and What to Accept)
If you’re curious rather than anxious about it, a few things can shift the odds. Emptying your bladder beforehand can reduce the fear of urinating, which removes one psychological barrier. Placing a towel down takes the pressure off worrying about mess. G-spot stimulation (firm, rhythmic pressure on the front vaginal wall) is the technique most commonly associated with squirting, likely because it puts direct pressure on the Skene’s glands and surrounding tissue.
The most consistent advice from sex educators is to focus on the sensation rather than the outcome. If you feel a building pressure that resembles the urge to pee, the instinct is to tighten up. Consciously relaxing your pelvic floor and “bearing down” gently instead of clenching is what allows fluid to release, if your body is going to produce it. But this only works when you’re genuinely aroused and not performing for a result.
Some people try these things and squirt. Others try them and have a great orgasm without any visible fluid. Both outcomes mean your body is working exactly as it should. The anatomy you were born with, the size of your Skene’s glands, and the way your nervous system responds to arousal are largely outside your control. Pleasure is the point, not the production of a specific fluid.