Women cheat for a wide range of reasons, but research consistently points to emotional neglect as the most common driver. A University of Maryland study that analyzed responses to nearly 80 questions about infidelity found that women were significantly more likely than men to cite neglect, meaning they weren’t receiving enough love, respect, or attention from their partner. That doesn’t mean physical attraction or opportunity play no role, but for women, the emotional landscape of the relationship is typically where things start to break down.
The Eight Motivations Behind Infidelity
The University of Maryland research, led by psychologist Dylan Selterman, identified eight distinct factors that drive people to cheat. While both men and women experience all eight, the weight each gender places on them differs. Men were more likely to report being motivated by sexual desire, variety, and situational factors like being drunk or away from home. Women leaned more heavily toward neglect and emotional disconnection.
The full list of motivations includes: anger (such as revenge after a partner’s betrayal), sexual dissatisfaction, loss of love or passion, neglect, low commitment from one or both partners, situational triggers, a desire to boost self-esteem, and wanting sexual variety. Most people who cheat don’t point to a single reason. Several of these factors tend to overlap, creating a tipping point rather than a clean cause-and-effect story.
The esteem factor is worth pausing on. Some women describe infidelity as a way to reclaim a sense of independence or self-worth that eroded inside their relationship. When someone feels invisible or undervalued for long enough, attention from a new person can feel like proof they still matter. That’s not a justification, but it helps explain why affairs often begin during periods when someone feels most disconnected from their own identity.
Emotional Neglect vs. Sexual Dissatisfaction
The distinction between emotional and sexual motivations matters because it shapes what the affair actually looks like. When neglect is the primary driver, the infidelity often starts as an emotional connection that gradually becomes physical. A coworker who listens, a friend who asks how your day went, a stranger who seems genuinely interested. The physical relationship is sometimes secondary to the feeling of being seen again.
That said, sexual dissatisfaction is far from irrelevant. Women who report cheating frequently describe a gap between what they want sexually and what their relationship provides. This isn’t always about frequency. It can be about feeling desired, having their preferences acknowledged, or experiencing a kind of intimacy that stopped being part of the relationship years ago. Research on sexual personality characteristics found that, for women specifically, both relationship quality and individual sexual traits were stronger predictors of infidelity than demographic factors like marital status or religious background.
How Common Is Female Infidelity?
About 19% of women in heterosexual relationships report having cheated on their current partner, compared to 23% of men. That gap is smaller than most people assume, and among younger adults it has essentially disappeared. Data from the Institute for Family Studies shows that among ever-married adults ages 18 to 29, women are actually slightly more likely than men to report infidelity (11% vs. 10%).
The rates shift with age. Women in their 60s report the highest rate of infidelity at 16%, while the number drops sharply among women in their 70s and 80s. The generational pattern likely reflects changing social norms, greater financial independence, and the fact that younger women today face fewer of the economic and social consequences that historically kept women in unsatisfying relationships. When leaving becomes more viable, some women still leave through the door of an affair rather than through direct confrontation.
The Exit Affair
One pattern that comes up frequently in both research and clinical settings is the “exit affair,” where someone who has already mentally left the relationship starts seeing someone else. The affair isn’t really about the new person. It serves two functions: it provides a safety net so the person isn’t alone after the breakup, and it sometimes forces the other partner to end the relationship, removing the burden of being the one to walk away.
Exit affairs are particularly common among women who feel trapped by financial dependence, children, or simply the weight of years invested. The affair becomes the bridge between the relationship they’re in and the one they want next. By the time the infidelity is discovered, the cheating partner has often already grieved the relationship privately, which is why their emotional response can seem strangely calm or detached compared to their partner’s shock.
Genetics and Brain Chemistry
Biology plays a quieter but measurable role. A study published in PLOS One found that a specific variation in a gene related to dopamine processing is linked to both infidelity and casual sex. People who carry this gene variant (present in roughly one-quarter of the population, with no difference between men and women) showed nearly double the rate of one-night stands and reported over 50% more instances of infidelity compared to those without it.
The mechanism is straightforward: this gene variant reduces the brain’s sensitivity to dopamine, the chemical tied to reward and pleasure. People with lower dopamine sensitivity may need more novelty and stimulation to feel the same level of satisfaction, which can translate into seeking new sexual or romantic experiences. This doesn’t mean infidelity is genetically predetermined. It means some people are wired to crave novelty more intensely, and that craving interacts with relationship satisfaction, opportunity, and personal values to shape behavior.
Hormones involved in bonding also play a role. The brain chemicals that help create feelings of attachment interact directly with the dopamine reward system. When those bonding signals weaken, whether through relationship conflict, emotional distance, or simply time, the pull toward novelty can become harder to resist for people who are already biologically inclined toward sensation-seeking.
Boredom Is More Complicated Than It Seems
A common assumption is that long relationships inevitably breed boredom, and boredom breeds cheating. The reality is more nuanced. A 2023 study on sexual boredom and desire in long-term relationships found that patterns of boredom did not differ based on how long the couple had been together. Some couples reported high boredom after just a few years, while others maintained desire across decades. Relationship duration alone doesn’t predict when or whether boredom sets in.
What does predict boredom is the quality of emotional and sexual engagement within the relationship. Couples who stop being curious about each other, who fall into rigid routines without variation, or who avoid conversations about what they want tend to experience boredom regardless of the calendar. For women who cheat and cite boredom as a reason, the boredom is usually a symptom of a deeper disconnect rather than an inevitable consequence of time spent together.
What Actually Predicts Whether a Woman Will Cheat
If you’re looking for a simple profile of “women who cheat,” research doesn’t support one. Demographic factors like income, education, religion, and marital status are weak predictors at best. The strongest predictors for women are relationship-specific: how emotionally connected they feel to their partner, whether they feel desired and respected, and their own individual relationship with sexuality and risk.
That last point matters. Women with higher sexual curiosity, stronger interest in novelty, and more permissive attitudes toward sex are statistically more likely to engage in infidelity, independent of how satisfied they are in their relationship. For other women, infidelity happens only when the relationship has deteriorated to a breaking point. These are fundamentally different paths to the same behavior, which is why blanket explanations never quite capture the full picture.